Tragically, I think there are two reasons that Cuddyer is in the outfield right now. First, there is a shortage of outfielders right now (Jacque, Lewwww, Ryan, and Tyner) compared to infielders. And we saw prior to Cuddyer being out there that the outfielders were having fielding problems--missing the cut-off men.

However, I'm interested to know whether the Twins are taking Cuddyer away from third base (possibly auditioning Little Luis for the position), and if they're going to see him as a utility man next year, or an outfielder, or an infielder. Personally, I'd like to see him at third base again. From what I've seen in the last couple of days, his arm is stronger than Little Luis's, getting the ball from third to first faster. Time will tell.

JB -- You've let your lead slip in the contest!!!!

"Ullger, who became hitting coach before the 1999 season and is a close friend of Gardenhire...." Oy. It's as if the story were about some bureaucrat in the Bush administration. I guess we're never getting rid of him, so long as the Tool is around. Scotty, you're doin' a heckuva job!!

With the failure of the 2005 Twins resting so squarely on the shoulders of one Scott Ullger, or so sayeth SBG and the legions worshipping at the alter of Bill James, I decided I needed to learn more about this wretched man, whose bag of voodoo apparently is not strong enough to transform each masterful Twins� prospect into the next Ted Williams, when clearly that was their potential. I fired up the trusty computer and started scanning the so-called �internets� to see what I could find.

Amazingly, Ullger�s reach extends way beyond the baseball diamond. With one-fell Google search here�s what I found:

1. Was it Angelina Jolie crashing down the sanctity of the Pitt/Aniston marriage? Heck no. It was all Ullger.

2. Was it �deep throat� feeding the Pioneer Press Bat-Girl�s inflated site traffic statistics, in a blatant effort to enrage SBG into a foaming-at-the-mouth blog diatribe? Nope. It was Ullger.

3. Global warming? Yup. Ullger.

4. Souhan�s (err, excuse me, Top Jimmy�s) promotion to �Blogger attack-dog� columnist � was it a clever ploy by STRIB management. Guess again � It was Ullger.

5. Northwest Airline�s bankruptcy filing? Greedy, self-serving, asleep-at-the-switch executive management. Wrong! Ullger.

6. Bush. Gore. Florida? Uh, huh, Ullger.

7. The missing WMD? Saddam? The French? No way. Ullger.

8. John Kerry. All Ullger. All the time.

9. Mike Brown at FEMA? U-L-L-G-E-R.

10. Brad Zellar�s writing slump at Warning Track Power? Clearly Ullger�s unorthodox use of the Thesaurus couldn�t unlock his potential.

I was so tired I couldn�t continue. I�m sure there�s more, but I can�t bear to read anymore. How could we, the die-hard, Twins-loving fans allow this to happen? This man doesn�t just deserve to be fired. Could prison possibly be too harsh? Quick - let�s get him out of here so we can latch on to the next scapegoat.

Great comment, anonymous. Too bad you didn't sign it so that we could properly attribute your brilliance. I have some ideas how you might be, though.

Having read your comment, I take everything back. Bring back the whole crew next year. Gardy, Ullgee, Stewee, Torii, Jonsey, Luiiii, Jay Cee, everyone.

This team was supposed to go to the World Series, but it missed the playoffs because it has the worst offense in the league. But, it's no one's fault. Oh yeah, it's Michael Cuddyer's fault.

Funny, when someone is in charge of a group that rates as the worst in its field, that person usually can expect to be held accountable--and probably even be fired. Look at Scotty Ullger's track record and suggest that he be held accountable, however, and in some quarters of Twins Territory that's irrational scapegoating.

I don't blame the Twins hitting coach for all the ills of the world, just for the results of his own job performance. Fact is, despite boasting a top-flight farm system that has included some blue chip bats, the Twins offense is just as bad right now as it was in 1999, the first year Ullger was in charge of coaching the hitters.

When the season began, who thought the offense was heading all the way back to 1999 and Square One? When you have a top farm system and yet such poor performance at the major league level, at what point, if not now, is it OK to say that it may be time to see what happens with a different hitting instructor in Minnesota?

Ouch..the sting. That hurt.

The writers who picked the Twins to get to the World Series are colleagues of the same bobos who picked the T-Wolves to get to the NBA Championship and the pathetic Vikings to get to the Super Bowl. Who are these geniuses? In each case, the fundamental problem is talent or lack thereof. Coaching? Probably doesn't make the top five reasons. (At least for me.)

C'Mon, do you really think now, with the hindsight glasses on, the likes of Bartlett, Cuddyer, Punto, and Morneau were going to carry this team to the series? The smart money knew a couple of rookies in the
three and four hole with a bunch slap-happy six hitters flailing away for 162 games wasn't going to work. Not this year. Not ever. We've had great pitching in a lousy division and it worked for three years. But, if Ryan doesn't right the ship with some real players next year all these blogs are going to dry up and then what am I gonna do?

I'll admit I was shaking a bony finger towards SBG, but alas, only in fun. I tease because I love. It's fun to see you beat the dead horse; once, and then it gets old. And further, I flinch and ache as much as you when I see the following:

1.) Punto sliding into first

2.) The sheer sight of Luis Rivas

3.) Jones not laying of that high fastball or shaking his head in disbelief after another cruddy at-bat

4.) Cuddyer anywhere but 3rd base - (Unless TR and Co. are committed to letting him play 2nd base, for good while they find a real 3rd baseman. And yes, I'd gamble on Youkilis if we could get him.)

5.) Hunter flailing away at three straight when he should be squeezing the juice out of the opposing pitcher.

6.) Romero sucking the life out of a close game.

No, I don't belong in the camp that said Guzman should have stayed. And I believe just as strongly a team should only have so many Canadians, so you can't pin that on me either. I'd even trade Hunter --for the right deal and a case of beer, preferably Sierra Nevada Pale Ale or Bell's Amber, but I'd prefer to have him here a few years more. Even as maddening as he can be - he is a cog if put into the right machine.

In my over caffeinated opinion, the Twins need: 1) A real lead-off man to set the table, 2.) Someone who hits for power and average at 2nd or 3rd base 3.) A real DH. They also need Morneau to figure it out or
join the scrapheap of first basemen since Kent Hrbek. I also don't think I'd be banking on making the Series with rookies or greenhorns as 40% of my rotation. I'd try and find a way to agonizingly keep Lohse around for one more go around. I would keep Mr. Liriano in the bullpen. I'd lose some of those other touted pitching prospects while you still have Santana, Silva and Radke.

No, Scotty Ullger's not my brother-in-law and I welcome you to take his head om a platter if you must.

You're right, sometimes management's just not good enough to get you to that next level. But, I think you might get better results by changing Terry Ryan.

If the "smart money" really knew that the Opening Day lineup was not going to work--and in fact would be the worst in the league--I hope you made a bundle, Anonymous.

If you believe that this group really is the least talented lineup in the league, and possibly even the majors, then that's where we will fundamentally disagree.

I expected Morneau to be a solid producer; not worse than Mientkiewicz. (Let's hope that he really did struggle because of the bad elbow.) I expected something like .275/.340/.460 out of Cuddyer (which is close to his production since May 1) in 550+ at-bats rather than ~420 AB's. I expected a lot more out of Stewart and Ford. I thought Bartlett could deliver at least Guzy-level offense if they let him play every day.

I had low expectations for Jones and didn't want him back, and he's played down to those expectations for most of the season, but it wouldn't shock me to see him bounce back with a new team & new coaches next year. (Ain't it strange how he seems to get a burst of new life after talking to Tony Gwynn?)
Torii had a typical-looking line for the 4 months he played, thanks to a monster June, be also struggled for most of the other 3 months in his season. Down as I've been on Rivas for the past three years, there's no question that even he set a new low for himself this year.

Most of the regulars had a very disappointing season and/or continued a trend of regression of the past few years. I think the GM has made some mistakes, but I also see a good deal of talent on the roster that apparently hasn't been served well by the coaching.

By the way, anonymous, I think that the centerfielder was talking World Series, not just the dumb sportswriters.

What the hell do you expect me to write? What else is there to say about this team? Should I write about how cute their butts are? Or photoshop some pictures of the players on women's bodies? Come to think of it, that might not be a bad idea. At least one (make that two) of the highly paid outfielders throws like a girl.

They started the season acting like they were the best team in the league, and they fell flat on their faces. Talk about beating a dead horse... the Twins lost 2-1 eleven times. Eleven! They beat the life out of me and every other person who wanted to follow them and write about them. Even my friend Seth, who is tireless optimistic has gotten beat down by this team. And after we were all dead, they got 13 hits and lost to the Royals 1-0.

And to further drive a spike into my heart, they tell me that they really like Jason Tyner.

I'm not the biggest anti-Ullger guy out there. But, I ask one question. Who has he helped? When Hunter was struggling (and he did, by the way, most of the season), he wasn't even talking to Ullger. He was talking to Jerry White.

Yes, I think Ullger should go. But, if you've read my page at all, which you obviously have -- nice reference to the Pioneer Press article on B-G, but foaming at the mouth? I think my report of Billions of readers was funny -- you would know that it is Ron Gardenhire that I want gone. And as long as that horse is still alive, I'll beat it.

I have to say, when things were going well for the Twins, it seemed that Gardy was a great manager. The whole "little team that could" line. (It should be pointed out that the A's are that team). But when things don't go well, it seemed that Gardy was not all that good of a manager. He seemed to want to deflect the blame onto other people rather than own up to his own shortcomings.

It's not all Gardy's fault, but he's not blameless. The infield is a mess and the outfield is underproducing. The offense is offensive to say the least. Dark days ahead for the Twins until they get some hitters. Pitchers can't carry this team forever.

One name keeps popping up in my head when I think of Ullger and his hitting magic.

DAVID ORTIZ. Ron "Papa Jack" Jackson, the hitting coach for Boston made a minor adjustment to Big Papi's swing and voila 47 homers and 146 rbi's.

Ullger how about a minor tweak of fatty or a little adjustment for JJ. How about a little something for Morneau. You certainly couldn't ruin Mauer's swing (even if you tried).

Did anyone just hear Terry Ryan?

What did he say?