The WGOM

Better Know A Citizen - Twayn

September 6th, 2007 by Andrew

Name: Twayn
Hometown: Fort Recovery, Ohio
Town I Currently Live In: Champlin, Minnesota
Profession: Communications.
Bats: Low in the order
Throws: With elbow pain.
Positions: That’s a rather personal question, don’t you think? Oh, you mean...?! Second base and emergency outfielder.
Greatest Career Achievement in Baseball/Softball/T-ball: Batting sixth in the lineup when our Little League team was decimated by a rare convergence of Boy Scout and church camps.
Hobbies: I don’t have hobbies so much as I have interests because they require less commitment. I like fishing, bicycling, reading, writing, photography, history, metaphysics, cinema, computers and games, and whatever shiny object I happen to spot on any given day.
What are you known for around the WGOM? Bijocularity. I can deliver a straight line or a punch line with equal panache and aplomb.
If you could have a nice, polite dinner with any 3 people - dead or alive - who and why? Julius Caesar, Benjamin Franklin, and Albert Einstein, because I find them fascinating and I would love to pick their brains for a few hours. And I would like them to be alive, please. It makes for more lively conversation.
If you could pick any 3 people - again, dead or alive - to go out and party with, who and why? Bill Murray, Howie Mandel, and Chris Rock. It’s my party and I can laugh if I want to.
Sports Allegiances: Minnesota Twins, Cleveland Browns, SCSU Huskies, Minnesota Gophers.
Favorite Books: The Lord of the Rings. The Masters of Rome series by Colleen McCullough. Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. Red Smith on Baseball. The Crack in the Cosmic Egg. Hitting into the Wind by Bill Meissner. The Dragons of Eden. Stranger in a Strange Land. Foucault’s Pendulum. Golf in the Kingdom. Lonesome Dove. The Learning Tree. Anything by Vonnegut, Steinbeck, Hemingway, and a wide variety of other 20^th century American authors. I’m a pathological reader and this could go on a long, long time if I let it, so I’ll just end it here.
Favorite Baseball Movie: Field of Dreams. My wife and I were living in Iowa when it came out. We even made a pilgrimage to Dyersville to see the field a couple of years later. But my favorite baseball book would have to be Bang the Drum Slowly, followed closely by Ball Four.
Favorite Non-baseball Movie: A toss-up between Casablanca and To Kill a Mockingbird.
Favorite Music: The Blues.
Favorite Food & Drink: Beef tenderloin with crab legs, and The Macallan sherry oak single malt. Just kidding – I don’t know anything about cognac. But I like a nice pinot noir or cabernet with my roasted meat, and I’m fond of beer with peanuts or popcorn.
Favorite TV Shows: Sticking to shows currently in production, I’ll go with Mad Men, Lost, Big Love, Dirt, The Riches, Extras, Flight of the Conchords, and Two and a Half Men. I had high hopes for John from Cincinnati, but Milch rather disappointed with that one. And I thought HBO’s Rome series was genius.
Favorite Twins Player, historically: Kirby Puckett. I got to meet him while producing an Opening Day segment when I was in the TV news business. I had to put a wireless microphone on him and as I fumbled repeatedly to insert the battery pack into his back pocket, Kirby turned his head and said in a rather exaggerated voice for the benefit of the other nearby players, “What’s taking you so long with that thing, man? I think you’re having too much fun back there.” And then he laughed, and so did the camera man, and all the players who saw my initial mortified reaction, and then I laughed, too. Definitely Kirby.
Favorite Twins Player, currently: I have to go with Johan Santana. But I really likes my Cuddyer, Mauer, Morneau, Nathan and Neshek.
Best Twins Memory: Dating my wife during the 1987 season and playoffs. Falling in love and watching your team win a pennant and its first World Series is pretty special.
Favorite Sport to Play: Golf. Turns out my terrible swing works better with a 5-iron in hand and a ball that’s not moving.
Favorite Sport to Watch: Baseball.
If I could live anywhere in the world, I’d live in: Actually, I could live anywhere in the world if I really put my mind to it, but for now I choose to live in Minnesota because that’s where my wife is. I would like to have a little cabin with a stone fireplace by a trout stream in the Rocky Mountains someday, though.
If I was commissioner for a day, I’d: Move one NL Central team to the AL West, cut interleague play by half, bring better balance to the unbalanced schedule, and in order to ensure the continuing integrity of the great game of baseball I would force the Minnesota Twins to acquire an honest-to-God designated hitter.
If I had Terry Ryan’s job for a day, I’d: Acquire an honest-to-God designated hitter and make a clumsy, ill-fated pass at his secretary.
Favorite Ballpark: Dodger Stadium for its retro ambiance, but I attended my first major league game(s) at Crosley Field and it will always be special to me. It was a double header, and Hank Aaron hit number 3,000^th in his second at bat of the day. The second game went 15 innings, I think.
Favorite blogs: SBG, Gleeman, TwinsGeek, MN Gameday, Seth Speaks, Nick & Nick’s, Greet Machine, Coffeyville Whirlwind, Fire Joe Morgan, Deadspin, and Batgirl (you know, if she still ran the greatest blog ever).
Next to Aaron's 3000th hit, have you ever been in attendance for a milestone like that? No, that was pretty special and very hard to top. And it was 20 years before I attended another major league game.
What do you think of the movie Sideways? I thought it was excellent. I like Paul Giamatti and I’ve always had a thing for Virginia Madsen. I know they aren’t everyone’s cup of hemlock, but I really like smart, character-driven narratives that explore personal relationships and social conventions.
Fly-fishing or bait fishing? I did a little fly fishing for trout when I lived in Colorado, but never enough to get very good at it. We sometimes rigged up spinning rods with bubble floats and flies, which work really well when there’s foilage close to the water. I mostly fish for walleye and northern these days, and I caught a nice muskie on Leech Lake several years ago, but I’m liking smallmouth fishing more and more, and I enjoy taking the kids fishing for sunnies and crappies.
What's the biggest fish you've ever caught? A 35” northern pike out of Lac Sul, Ontario.
Now, for real - what's the biggest fish you've ever caught? A 35” northern pike. Keepers had to be at least 36”, so it went back in the water, but I have a dandy picture. Also, it bit me and left a tooth in my thumb as I was getting ready to release it. That tooth stayed in there for three weeks until it finally festered and I could dig it out with a sewing needle. So I got to savor that particular catch longer than most.

Let's just say that the map is bigger now...

This entry was posted by Andrew on Thursday, September 6th, 2007 at 10:00 am and is filed under Andrew, Better Know a Citizen. It is one of 86 entries by the author. We are no longer accepting Letters to the Editor on this post.