Mugshot Purgatory: 2007 NL Champion Colorado Rockies
Posted by AMR on Wednesday, October 24th, 2007 at 8:03 am
This is obviously who I'm cheering for, even though as of Sept 30, I knew like 5 of these dudes. If you need to know who is on the AL champs, the loathed BoSox, well, I looked at them in early May. [Note: Roster may not be the same. [Subnote: I may not care.]]
Look, this is the first step in preventing a Boston sports apocalypse: BoSox win WS, Pats go 19-0, BC wins BCS championship, Celts win NBA. The fans would be so insufferable, it would blot out the sun. I'm hoping the Rox stop it before it starts. So, for about a week here, the good guys will wear black.
Note how much these "home whites" mugshots look like ChiSox mugshots.
Rotation: Jeff Francis, Ubaldo Jimenez, Josh Fogg, and Aaron Cook (just activated!).
(Francis '07, '06, '05; Jimenez '07, '06, '07AAA; Fogg '07, '06, '05; Cook '07, '06, '05)
AAA is Colorado Springs SkySox unless I say otherwise. Francis looks very young, and Cook has been quietly giving Mark Kotsay competition in the saddest-looking major-leaguer race.
Former Royal Jeremy "The one the White Sox didn't take" Affeldt and Former Twin LaTroy "I'm only bad when I'm closing" Hawkins are staples in the Rox bullpen, but there have been other former Royals and Twins on the roster during 2007, all pitchers. One-time all-star and former Twin and former Royal Mark Redman, former Twin Ramon Ortiz have both been released by the team. (I never saw a transaction for Ortiz, as he did pick up the win in game 163, but he's not on the 40-man now).
(Affeldt '07, '06, '05; Hawkins '07, '06, '05; Redman '07PS-COL, '07, '06, '05, '02, '01; Ortiz '07PS-COL, '07, '06PS-MIN, '06, '05, '02)
Former Royals Denny Bautista and Elmer Dessens are on the inactive roster (which basically means they're minor-leaguers). Former Royal Joe Keppel and former Twin Farmhand Dan Serafini had appearances with the Major-league club during the season, but are not even on the inactive roster anymore.
(Dessens '07AAA, '07, '06, '05; Bautista '07AAA, '07, '06; Keppel '07AAA, '07, '06; Serafini '07)
Dessens's AAA pic is from the Memphis Sound, the Brewers' affiliate. And his Rox mug is a photoshop from the Brewers.
Catchers: Yorvit Torrealba will probably get all the starts, as I don't believe any Rox pitcher is high enough on himself to have a "personal catcher." If he get's hurt, it's Chris Iannetta. Edwin Bellorin is in the minors, and Gilberto Gil is off the roster.
(Torrealba '07AAA, '07, '06; Iannetta '07AAA, '07; Bellorin '07AAA, '07, Gil '07, '06, '05)
The two guys still playing have those odd minor-league mugshots in major-league unis. I don't know what they mean. They've got grey underbills, so they're probably old.
Bullpen: relieved closer Brian Fuentes, Matt Herges, new closer Manny Corpas, Franklin Morales (whose place in the rotation was taken by Cook), and Ryan Speier. Plus Affeldt and Hawkins (above).
(Fuentes '07, '06, '05, '04; Corpas '07, '06; Herges '07, '06, '07AAA; Morales '07, '07A; Speier '07, '07AAA)
Fuentes looks like a former child star, with chubby cheeks that just don't look quite respectable on a grown-up but were probably hella cute when he was 6. I'm hoping that Corpas throws at Ramirez of the BoSox just for the "Manny beaning Manny" jokes. Morales A = Modesto Nuts, which means it's a 2006 picture.
Infield: Todd Helton, Kazuo "Kaz" Matsui, Garrett Atkins, Jamey Carroll, and Troy "ROY?" Tulowitzki.
(Helton '07, '06, '05, '04, '03, '98; Matsui '07, '06, '05, '04; Atkins '07, '06, '05; Carroll '07, '06, '05; Tulowitzki '07, '06)
I find it unlikely that there's no connection between Helton's beard and the Rockies' postseason berth. Good thing Tulo's got the great name, because I've watched him play and seen his mugshot and I still have no idea what he looks like.
Outfield: Matt "MVP?" Holliday, Brad Hawpe, Willy Taveras, Cory Sullivan, Jeff Baker, Seth Smith, and Ryan Spillbourghs. I find it odd that there are four infield positions and five players for them, but only three outfield positions and seven players for them. I'll guess that Smith is the DH.
(Holliday '07, '06, '05; Hawpe '07, '06, '05; Taveras '07, '06, '05; Sullivan '07, '06, '05; Baker '07, '06, '07AAA; Smith '07, '07AAA; Spillbourghs '07)
The pictures of Holliday look so little like the guy who skinned his chin in game 163. I'm kindof freaked out by the squareness of Baker's jaw.
60-Day DL: Ramon Ramirez, Jason Hirsh, Sean Barker, and Darren Clarke. All pitchers except Barker, who's an outfielder.
(Ramirez '07AAA, '07, '06, '05PS-COL, '05; Hirsh '07AAA, '07, '06; Barker '07AAA, '07; Clarke '07)
Hirsh AAA = Round Rock Express, the Astros' affiliate. That pic is actually from 2006.
Minor-league pitchers: Rodrigo Lopez, Jorge Julio, Taylor Buchholz, Juan Morillo, and Josh Newman. Buchholz was on the roster but didn't play in either the NLDS or NLCS, and now he got moved off the 25-man for Aaron Cook, which has to suck just a bit.
(Lopez '07, '06, '05; Julio '07, '06, '05; Buchholz '07, '06; Morillo '07, '06; Newman '07, '07AAA)
I love what Lopez's beard does for him. He still looks the same, surprised Rodrigo, but now he looks both younger, and Japanese.
Minor-league infielders: Clint "Venison" Barmes, Omar Quintanilla, Jayson Nix, Joe Koshansky, Ian Stewart, and Jonathan Herrera.
(Barmes '07AAA, '07, '06, '05; Quintanilla '07AAA, '07, '06, '05; Nix '07AAA, '07, '06; Koshansky '07AAA, '07; Stewart '07AAA, '07; Herrera '07)
Yes, according to MLB.com, Darren Clarke and Jonathan Herrera have the same face. (Not sure which is which.)
No Longer on Roster: These guys were with the team at one point in the season and actually made it into a game, but are no longer with the team. This list includes Ortiz, Redman, Keppel, Serafini, and Gil above. The others are: Steve Finley, Byung-Hyun Kim, Tom Martin, Alberto Arias, Zach McClellan, and Tim Harikkala.
(Finley '07, '06, '05; Kim '07, '06, '05; Martin '07, '06; Arias '07, '07AAA; McClellan '07, '07AAA; Harikkala '07)
The two most recent Kim pics are photoshops. (He started '07 with the Rockies).
So, that's everyone that's either on the roster or played with the big club. Go Rockies! (My prediction is Rockies in 5, losing game 1 to Beckett.)
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Somebody obviously shot his dog.
Great work, AMR.
Geez, I'm sure glad Byung-Hyun Kim got that jaundice taken care of.
Baker's jaw isn't so much square, as w-i-d-e.
Jason Hirsh has one of those smiles that drove his mother crazy when he brought home his school pictures.
Glad to see the return of the Purgatory, AMR.
I didn't realize color film didn't come out until after 1998.
Doesn't LaTroy look fat as a Cub? He was always so thin with the Twins, almost too thin. Must have been some Chicago pizza or something that fattened him up.
Cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger. No Coke, Pepsi!
That was the year he used steroids.
You might be on to something there.
Two years of playing for the Orioles would make anyone hungry.
Anyone else dig that SkySox logo? Not old-fashioned, but simple as if it were old-fashioned. The S in the C kindof mimics the seams on a baseball.
To whoever did that: great job with a stupidly named team.
I like the one year with purple caps (Helton and Barmes '04)
Also, If you look at Ramon Ramirez's column from bottom to top you can see the desperation growing in his eyes as the world slowly grows darker around him.
Josh Fogg has the best pic
My thoughts too. He looks like he'd make a good neighbor.