Comment Club - CarterHayes #1000
Posted by Andrew on Friday, January 18th, 2008 at 11:00 am
The 2007 Postseason ("It's A Crapshoot!") has given us another comment to go up in the SBG HOF and Museum (and Gift Shop and Café and Planetarium). Everyone's favorite Russian Literature-studying Marine CarterHayes posted his 1000th comment after Game 4 of the World Series
Oooh, sooo close. But close only counts in horseshoes and ... curling. You thought I was going to say "hand grenades" didn't you. Well, I am not going to make that joke. And I guess close counts in bocce ball too now that I think about it.
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Horseshoes, Bocce, Curling. Kindof all the same sport with different surfaces/equipment. Like Soccer and Lacrosse and Hockey.
Also, you could probably play bocce ball with hand grenades, but I wouldn't recommend it.
Hand grenade lacrosse would be awesome.
Yeah, you'd see a lot of passing in that game.
Added twist - randomly timed fuses. Will this one go off in 10 second? 20 seconds? 2 minutes?
Jarts. Close counts in Jarts too.
We used to play a kind of "ballistic missile" version of the game, tossing the suckers about as high up as we could in pursuit of a really deep impact in the turf (or unsuspecting player skull). I think my dad liked the game's potential for low-effort aeration.
Took a jart in the back of the skull when 12 - bled like stuck pig.
I've always heard close counts in slow dancing, too.
I've gotta get something off my chest. I like to think my mother raised an honest son, and I wouldn't want to let my little brother down.
Before someone looks in the comment database on their own and starts drawing conclusions, I'm going to 'fess up. My comment total was achieved through performance-enhancing means. I'd never really participated in game threads before - just tried it on a few occasions. Then Dane Cook really started pushing me to try it. Every time I saw him he'd remind me the playoffs were going on, and of course I knew there would be game threads. So I watched the games. And I used the threads, and here I am. 1000+ comments. It's not an achievement I should be proud of, but I figured I had to do it to stay competitive.
Oh my goodness. Do we exclude him from the SBG Hall of Fame? Or create a separate wing? Or just wipe out his stats all together. Oh please, Buster Olney, tell us what to do!?!
We also need to consider the possibility that this problem was widespread and that no one from his era should be allowed into the SBG Hall of Fame.
We'll have the SBG Hall of Fame and Museum, except for the Hall of Fame part. Perfect!
If there's one person that seems to be an obvious user it's brianS. Just look at the size of his head! I think all of his stats should get marked with an asterisk.
I know none of you want to hear this, but we need to look at ubelmann too. He has a squeaky clean image with the media, so nobody suspects him, but years down the road some evidence may come to light and then we will find out that ubelmann is really no different than brianS.
My hat size is 7 5/8... when my hair is cut short. But I ordered one Twins cap over the internet a few years ago which didn't fit, so maybe my head is still expanding, too.
We have the same hat size!
And Big Head Barry has a 7 1/4 hat. Chew on that for a while. For the record, I'm at 7 1/2.
7 3/8 for me. When I was graduating HS, we were getting fitted for caps and gowns and the guy doing measurements said you could always tell the baseball players because they already had the hat size filled out on the form.
And Big Head Barry has a 7 1/4 hat.
When he shaves his head and stretches the hell out of the cap... maybe. I doubt that's his true hat size.
Well, that's the hat size reported in the book, Game of Shadows.
I'll add that I think that is impossibly small. If I'd have been the editor of that book, I would have said, "um, fellas, are you sure?"
I've told the story before of how I got a 7 5/8 from the in-laws and it didn't fit well, but I had been very adamant that I needed exactly that size, so I had to wear it and get headaches until summer came and I could wear it for a nice rainy walk, and then let it dry. My previous 7 5/8 still fit perfectly well.
I'm now of the opinion that fitted baseball caps are like jeans for women. One needs to try them on no matter what the label says the size is.
I'm now of the opinion that fitted baseball caps are like jeans for women. One needs to try them on no matter what the label says the size is.
Most definitely. I've been burned twice trying to find a good Milwaukee Braves hat on the Internet. One of these days I'm going to have to do a boots on the ground mission in the Cream City.
7 3/8, all natural baby!
Can I help it if I exploded on the scene like Brady Anderson in 1996? No, I can't. I've just been very aggressive at the keyboard.
While I think we can all agree that Dane Cook is no good for the sport, it would be unfair to penalize CH for listening to Dane Cook while there were no rules for Citizens against listening to him.
Professors. Lawyers. Mugshots. There's only one ONE THOUSANDTH post! There's only one Nation!
I might have to file a class action suit for the average, everyday Joe, who never succumbed to game logs to artificially enhance comment totals. Without said gamelogs, my 300+ posts would look somewhat respectable. Alas, with all the inflated comment totals, I am the Jerry Remy of SBG commenters.
Perhaps next year, I will game log like a fiend and put up a Brady Anderson sort of season!
You could have 300 "Punto sucks" comments added to your list easily if you'd have just stopped by about 100 or so games last year.
actually, I did follow the game logs, but never commented... does that make me the Bill Clinton of commenters...
argh! I just remembered that I did game log twice last season. Call me Raffy Palmeiro!!
That there's an Inner-Circle comment from a guy who just barely makes the benchmark number. Is it better to burn bright and fast, or mellow and long?
it's better to burn out, than to fade away.
+5, ShakE-6
Red means run, son
Numbers add up to nothin'
I hope the museum end of the SBG HOF includes Rifding Hokme's first comment.