Thursday, as you may recall, was my birthday. As the day wore on, I was excited about the prospect of a nice birthday dinner at home with Lucy and BabySBG and kind just enjoying the day. I left the office about 5:15 and headed home. On the way home, my dad called. I answered the phone and he immediately started singing Happy Birthday. At the end, I said, you must have the wrong number... and he bought it! I said, no Dad, it's me, thanks! Enjoying the day. Anyway, I was talking with Dad as I drove east on Highway 62 and just as I crossed the Cedar Avenue bridge, I heard a noise that I recognized as coming from a flat tire. Shit.

Now, it was pretty cold out, but I figured that ten minutes of changing the tire would be a little uncomfortable, but not the end of the world. So, I got the baby spare out along with the jack and that jack handle/tire iron that you get nowadays. You know, the one with the socket that pivots on the end. You can fold the socket into itself and the socket is contained within a little bracket. It's a nice enough little tool.

Anyway, I was on the left hand side of the road and the flat tire was the left front. I jacked up the car, removed the lug nuts and I COULD NOT BUDGE THAT DAMNED TIRE. It would not move. Furthermore, when I grabbed the tire, I felt steel belts along the inside edge. Oh crap.

So, I called my dad and asked him what I should do. He suggested using the tire iron to beat on the tire. I did that, I kicked it and all I managed to do was bend the bracket so that the socket was stuck in the bracket, rendering the tire iron/jack handle unusable. Great. Now I've got a car jacked up with the lugnuts off the flat tire in front and I have no way of getting the tire off, tightening the lug nuts or lowering the jack.

Here's my tire iron with the socket snugly fit into its bracket

So, I call my wife and ask her for the number of the Tires Plus in Eagan. Now, there's also a Firestone store there, but they are crooks, as I have documented before. I asked them if they could come out and help me, but they said, no, they were busy and couldn't spare anyone. But, they referred me to Mark's Towing. Remember that name. Mark's Towing of Eagan, MN. They specialize in fucking over people who are stranded on the side of the highway in freezing cold.

I called Mark's Towing and told them that I was stranded on Crosstown and asked them if they could pick me up and tow my car to Tires Plus in Eagan. The woman I talked to said, yeah, sure. I asked how much and she said $75. I asked how long before they would get there and she said 20 to 25 minutes. I said, I'm in the car. She said that they would be right there.

Forty five minutes later, I called Mark's Towing again. I talked to some guy and I asked him where they were. He said that the truck had to go out and fix a tire at the airport and then he would be over. I said no, you are coming here right now. And he said, we have to help as many people as we can. I said, no you don't, you promised that you would help me and that you would come right out. (He's not the government, he entered into an oral contract with me and was now in breach of contract.) He said, I don't know what she promised you. I said, I'm telling you what she promised me. She promised me 20 to 25 minutes! I told him that since he hadn't lived up to his end of the bargain, I wanted a discount. He said that he couldn't do that. That's not surprising as he also couldn't live up to his word. I mean, if you tell someone in sub-freezing temperatures that you are going to show up right away, you had better show up right away! He said, why don't you just catch a ride home and we'll pick up your car later. What a jerk! I was plenty pissed off, so I told him that I might call the Attorney General's office and tell them how he does business. He said go ahead. That was an empty threat, but what I really intended to do was write this post so that when you Google Mark's Towing in Eagan, MN, this page comes up at the top of the list. And it does. And the blurb under the link says, "But, they referred me to Mark's Towing. Remember that name. Mark's Towing of Eagan, MN. They specialize in fucking over people who are stranded on the side..." So there, Mark's Towing in Eagan, MN, how do you like it? There's just so many ways this could have been handled. When I first called, they could have told me that they were busy (like say, the guys at Tires Plus) and it was going to be two hours or whatever, instead of saying we'll be right there. Or they could have told the guy with the tire it's going to be a while or whoever else they had hired on with. I could then been able to try someone else. When I called back, they could have apologized. They could have said, "l'll knock $20 off for your trouble." But, no. He didn't care about, you know, doing the right thing for a guy that relied on his company's promise. He just thought fuck it, I'm gonna make as much as I can by overpromising and leaving folks hang out to dry. Or freeze, as the case may be. What am I going to do, sue? Good luck with that. So, I hung up and called Lucy to see if she could find another towing company, one not run by assholes.

Just then, my savior arrived. It was a MNDOT guy and his truck said, I believe, Freeway Incident Team. I got out of my car, thinking it was the towing company (of course it wasn't them, they wouldn't show up for hours), but was relieved to see a state guy. He asked me what the problem was and I told him. He said, I know the problem. He got a rubber mallet out (and I'm buying a couple of those this weekend, one for each car) and pounded the tire right off. He told me that the salt causes the wheel to bond to the hub. He broke it free and changed my tire. He was an older guy, a retired Navy lifer and just as friendly as could be. I tried to tip him, but he told me that he wasn't allowed to take tips. I called Mark's Towing and canceled the tow, saving myself $75 (and probably more, since they apparently were in the business of not keeping their word and, based on this review, I'm probably right about that). A lot of people believe that the public sector can't do anything right and that the private sector is the only way to do things. Well, let me tell you. The private sector is filled with people like Mark's Towing in Eagan, who only care about maximizing profits without regard to the people who are paying them. By contrast, our Navy lifer was an example of service being provided by the public sector. Government's not perfect, but it isn't necessarily evil. Thank you, State of Minnesota. You really helped me out on Thursday night, and I appreciate it. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that the state should get into the business of towing cars (and hey, there's problems at MNDOT as anyone with access to a newspaper or the local news knows). But, what I am saying is that the attitude of state bad, private sector good is just a little too simplistic. A public servant like this Navy guy should be appreciated. He was doing his job and was cheerful and competent. And honest. I wish he'd have taken my money, but my respect for his integrity went through the freaking roof. When I fill out my tax return this year, I'll feel a little better about the state return. Having those guys out there keeping things moving is worth a few extra bucks, especially if I don't have to pay rude, contract breeching pricks like the folks over at Mark's Towing in Eagan, MN.

So, I drove over to Tires Plus and I got two new tires for the front. The one that was flat was badly worn, and it was clear, given the relatively low number of miles on the car, that the wheels were out of alignment, so I authorized an alignment. It was 7:30 by the time I got to Tires Plus and they said 45 minutes. So I called Lucy, who had prepared an absolute feast (Ribs and sauerkraut, mashed potates, Swedish meatballs, a delicious Pasta dish and a birthday cake that said "Happy 43rd Birthday, SBG" -- okay, she bought the cake, but the point is, it was there for me). I told her that I wouldn't be home until about 8:30. She was understandably upset -- she'd worked hard and she wanted to spend my birthday with me -- but this was the way it was.

The birthday cake's still uneaten.

I walked over to Caribou Coffee and got myself some hot chocolate. I asked if they had birthday specials and they said, "free drink with a coupon". Well, I didn't have a coupon, but they gave it to me anyway. I had a little lemon poppyseed bread, too, as I was getting hungry and I sat in there for about 45 minutes. I then walked back to Tires Plus, only to find that they hadn't even started on my car yet. Oh boy. I suspected when I walked over to Caribou that that might be the case -- they looked pretty busy. So, they overpromised, too, but at least they didn't leave me stranded on the side of the road somewhere. Well, some time after 8:30, the guy working there told me that there was no oil on my dipstick. What? I suppose I should check my oil more often than I do. And I suppose now I will do that when I fill with gas. But, the car has never been low on an oil change, so I was just assuming that it wasn't leaking or burning oil. The guy said that he'd change the oil (it was time) for $16.95. Good price (and $10 less than their regular price -- a discount? compared to Mark's Towing in Eagan, MN, these guys were business of the year!), so hey all's well.

At 9:15, they were done.

One wheel was severely out of alignment (damned potholes, fix them with my tax dollars!). Plus, they couldn't change my oil, because my drain plug was stripped and was loose. The last place that changed my oil was Valvoline on Cliff Road in Eagan, MN. They apparently effed up the drain plug. Can anybody provide decent service (other than that Navy lifer who works for MNDOT)? I used to change my oil all the time when I lived in ND -- it's not that hard to put a drain plug in! And Tires Plus did not have a replacement one to sell me! For Chrissakes! I must be living in automotive service Hell! So, they topped off my oil and sent me home. I arrived at home more than four hours after I left work, beaten down by a bad tire, bad service, and bitter cold. I had a couple of ribs, but the rest of the feast went into the refrigerator and will be leftovers.

Happy Birthday to me.