Programming note: 3:40 Central Time start, so you Flyover State fans should be able to stay awake for the whole thing, and maybe even get to watch the Hillary delegates be pissy about having to vote for Obama.

Pitching matchup: Glen "Cake and Steak" Perkins (age 25, 11-3, 3.90 ERA, 4.93 xFIP, 39.5 pct GB, 94 tRA+ for yickit) vs Ryan "Evening Celebration" Feierabend (pronounced "Fear-band" if you are Gordo, "Fyer-abend" to the rest of us; age 22, 0-1, 7.88 ERA, 3.81 xFIP, 54.8 pct GB and 123 tRA+ in 8 IP), a matching of young soutpaws (what, it's Wednesday so the Teams Must Start Lefties rule is in effect??).

The last four games -- disappointing losses to the Halos and M's -- have been passing-kidney-stone fun. But we're still on the long road. We're flat on the floor. I don't know if we can do this anymore. But someday, believe it or not, we'll be feeling way too damn good because of you, Glen. We've figured you out. Everyone else should've listened. Twins fans, don't throw yourself away. We need another loss in Seattle like another hole in the head. So do us proud, Glen. See you at the show. Man, if I had a nickle back for every song reference, I could buy a candy bar.

Despite the unpleasantness of the past few days, the Twins (74-58) stubbornly refuse to bend to PECOTA's will and remain in the playoff chase, neck-and-neck with the hated Pale Hose for the Central Division lead. It has been a magical season. Not 2006 magical, but fairy-dusted magical nonetheless. They seek to close out the season series against the M's on an upbeat note and a solid, winning record (currently 5-3 after yesterday's win behind Light Rail 4-4 after that disappointing loss).

Seattle (50-82), on the other hand, is in a malaise. They lost their NBA team, the Mariners suck, housing prices are plummeting and the city faces inundation, which kinda sucks. Plus, it looks as though Obama won't be able to count on the canine vote after all. Thank goodness for Clover.

Ryan The Party Boy is making his second start in two weeks against the Twinkies and third start overall this season. After getting pummeled by our boys on Aug. 17 (6 runs on 10 hits; 18 batters faced over 3 innings), he put up a solid, 5-innning, 5-hit, 1-run, 5-K performance against the Oakland AAAA's at home on Aug. 22. He threw 93 pitches in that start, including 7 swing-and-misses and 17 strikes looking, indicating some ability to miss bats and either fool hitters or take advantage of Oakland's patented patience at the plate. Given Minnesota's disdain for the walk, I wouldn't expect to see so many strikes looking tonight, unless Jason Kubel is in a mood.

The Mariners are hitting 277/333/411 against lefties overall this year (8th in the AL) against 259/313/379 vs. right-handers (13th). So, well, that's not so great for ol' Glen.

Perkins was the opposing pitcher in the Aug. 17 game against Feierabend and didn't acquit himself all that well. The Twins staked the Pony boy to an 8-0 lead through five innings, in which he had given up four hits, all of which were line drives (including two doubles). But in the sixth, he opened up the all-you-can-eat pancake supper, giving back four runs on three jacks (Beltre, Balentien and Johjima).

Seattle seems to have had Perk's number lately, as he also suffered through a five-run, 12-hit, six-and-a-third inning start on Aug. 4 at Safeco. About the only "good" thing that can be said about that performance is that Perkins was efficient -- he threw only 87 pitches.

But to give him his due, he has put up donuts in three of his last five starts against other teams.

Perkins has enjoyed outstanding run support all year, averaging 6.05 runs per game thanks to a remarkable six outbursts of nine or more, the latest arising at Anaheim Aug. 22. And the Twins have pretty well pummeled the Mariners' pitching staff, having scored six or more runs in every game but the last two debacles. I'm looking for Change and New Ideas today or, by gawd, I'm voting for the other guy in November.

I'm brian hussein S and I approve this message.