The rules are simple. Describe the player in question in six words. You can enter as many times as you wish. Then, we vote on the entries to find the best answer (or best three answers). There were a lot of entries for Mauer, and hopefully all the players will generate enough interest to make this fun. The poll on the bottom is for Mauer. Vote for up to five of your favorites. Anyone can vote here, not just SBG Nation Citizens (but really, if you are reading and voting in polls, why not just take the plunge and sign up?).
And now, here's my submission for Justin Morneau: 2006 MVP, but third best Twin.
And now, the poll:
Pick your favorite Joe Mauer Six Word Evaluations
- He ain't Jesus, but close enough -- 32%
- What a pansy: enough fake injuries. -- 2%
- Minnesotans rake, and he proves it. -- 5%
- Perennial MVP candidate - bite me, Torii. -- 13%
- Hits only singles, move to third. -- 3%
- Should have taken Mark Prior first. -- 9%
- Two batting crowns; needs a ring. -- 24%
- Hall of Fame will be calling. -- 17%
- The real MVP; shove it, Morneau. -- 9%
- sweet swing, sideburns, savior of baseball -- 13%
- The Second Coming in baseball cleats -- 2%
- Born in manger, bat in hands -- 20%
- Hits and hits and hits and -- 9%
- a Liriano fastball: his favorite cheese -- 0%
- R.A. Dickey cometh: Bring bigger mitt -- 0%
- When does he move to third? -- 6%
- QuickSwing, by Mauer. Best invention ever? -- 1%
- Recipient of our non-sexual man crushes -- 9%
- Public speaking definitely not a strength -- 2%
- Thick Minnesota Accent: Embarrassing on MLBTV. -- 3%
- Batting Champs don't care about homers. -- 16%
- Shot to the gap, rinse, repeat -- -95%
Total Voters: 87
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Corey Koskie looks like his dad (it's eerily true)
Doubles increase, homers decrease: Twins baseball!
Ubelmann thinks that his defense sucks
Mountie meltdown in September, Jesus Saves.
Jason Morneau is your Derby Champ
Yep, this is going to get some votes.
ding, ding, ding.
only hope to hit Subway sign
Inspired this morning:
I'm really sorry about last September
Rhymes with Porno. Suck it Torii!
I will always love Todd Bertuzzi
A hunk of Canadian Timber, eh
ESPN says Jason? then its Jason!
Rhymes with Porno. Suck it Torii!
FTW?
Nice list, fa!
Lumbering Canuck, comes wielding his axe.
Good hitter, bizarre hold on voters
Why are Twins' stars so boring?
RBI equal MVP votes--even today
Long-term contract, Target's first icon?
When I'm not afflicted, I mash!
When on field, Robot I become.
rob is channeling his inner Yoda.
I'll again offer: Another Canadian Club: Justin Go Boom!
but my vote will be with "Rhymes with Porno" or "Jason Morneau". Quality.
Stripper wife. Twins MVP. Life's good.
Sheenie was my very first fan.
Draw in dirt at first base.
Ya' know? Ya' know? Ya' know?
ok, i can seriously think of these all day. Thanks Will for pointing this thread out to me.
Stripper wife? Is this true?
I Thought Sheenie Was His Girlfriend?
Huge exhale with contact, that's gone!
His wife was a stripper in Mankato or something like that. I thought that was common knowledge.
Found this in a comment's section on some random site, so it must be true!
I know Krista as well… She is a gold digger, though and though. Way to go Justin! You landed yourself a stripper, don’t set the bar too high. I belive you may have seen her at Mettlers or DeJa Vu. This hasn’t gone to her head, she has always been arogant and uses men for money and more. Ask her family. She must be good at something.
you skipped the best part of that post -- the Morny photo
She is a gold digger, though and though.
Heh. It's a gold digger, threw and threw.
You say "stripper in Mankato" like it's a bad thing.
Gotta love the helicopter HR followthrough.
Mauer's ex-roomie; who's cookin' breakfast, eh?
Bite me, Hamilton - bite me, Torii. (well, I established the Torii Add-on Initiative, I'd better follow it)
Superior Torii slug-dodging; sorry, Nicky.
Secretly wish I was Patrick Roy
MVP? Just look at those ribbies, maaaaaaan
Needs Punto to take his punches
Insert random "Jason Morneau" joke here
Good, but where are his intangibles?
Torii? Cue the "Street Fighter" music
Sweet bat, 'meh' glove, good times
Canadian lumber: you've seen him run.
oooh. Another contender.
Do-Right ain't got sh!t on me!
I got nothing today fellas, sorry
"Ha - Mil - Ton! Ha - Mil - Ton!"
"Jacks Homers; Blue Ox Looks On"
Dudley Do-Right with bat and glove
Babs - welcome to The Nation! Now, quick, run over to http://www.gravatar.com and get rid of that avatar.
M-V-P, Not a G!
Justin Morneau rocks my socks off!
Derby winner, still came in second