On Monday, I showed up to play for a new intramural softball team, but the captain failed epically in putting together a team, and with 4 men and 3 women, we were forced to forfeit. But not all was lost! The other team had 11 players, we split up into two teams of 9, and we just played ball for an hour. It was wonderful.
Anyway, my All-Star fantasy is that every MLB player shows up to some sandlot in the middle of nowhere (Is this heaven? No, it's Minnesota), two guys are chosen as captains of the AL and NL, they choose up 9 guys for each team and have at it. (While I like the DH for purposes of baseball-as-a-spectator sport, in this particular fantasy, pitchers hit and they pitch the whole game because they don't have to deal with pitching once every five days. Did I mention fantasy?)
Under these circumstances, this is who I would pick after a quick glance at the rosters, which is of course all you might have when you are picking sides on the playground:
| Pos | AL | NL |
| C: | Joe Mauer | Brian McCann |
| 1B: | Mark Teixeira | Albert Pujols |
| 2B: | Ian Kinsler | Chase Utley |
| 3B: | Alex Rodriguez* | Chipper Jones |
| SS: | Derek Jeter** | Hanley Ramirez |
| LF: | Ichiro | Manny*** |
| CF: | Grady Sizemore | Matt Kemp?^ |
| RF: | Nick Markakis | Ryan Braun^^ |
| P: | Roy Halladay^^^ | Tim Lincecum |
I think that'd be a hell of a ballgame.
*Longoria is injured at the moment and though the Ty Cobb rule may apply to A-Rod, I'll keep him in the lineup because he's damned good and it might irritate Selena Roberts.
**This pains me, but AL shortstops are really pretty awful this year. I loves me some JB, but he's just not better than Jeter. One of these days Jeter will go all Bernie Williams on us and fall off a cliff and I won't have to face these sorts of moral dilemmas.
***Oh yeah, I went there.
^If healthy, Carlos Beltran is the obvious choice here.
^^Defensively, I don't like this one bit, but Braun is a monster at the plate.
^^^Greinke a very close second on that.
JB over Jeter, dude! You did say it was a fantasy, right?
A fantasy posting by ubes? No stats? Dude, I am so proud of you!
I see the A.L. beating down the N.L. club. Better defensively. I like Halladay as a "fantasy" sandlot pitcher. He has a mean streak. Nice list.
Well, don't think that I didn't glance at any stats when I did this. I just didn't take four hours to do an in-depth statistical analysis.
I would rather play in your softball league. My team has lost its last three games 20-0, 19-3, and 15-0. We're pathetic.
Also, I would never select the massive bag of douche named Mark Teixeira to my team. Of course, I despise Youkilis just as much, so I would probably go with Carlos Pena just for the sweet defense and Harmon Killebrew approach at the plate.
I haven't really noticed Mark Teixeira for anything other than that he's a good hitter and fielder, why is it that he's a big douche? Carlos Pena would definitely be a fun guy to have around.
I'll take the Mountie at first, when he's on a hot streak.
He does seem to wear down at various times so he probably does get legitimately hot and cold in that he's 100% sometimes and much less than 100% at other times. (I noticed Gardy mention something about Morneau's back when Morneau was held out for "general soreness" and if he has been playing through back pain at the end of seasons, that could explain the total power outages.)