Flash forward to Christmas Day, 2009. You wake up thinking about gifts, a nice dinner with family, and maybe you are hoping that your crazy uncle doesn't do something to ruin the day.
Unfortunately, Uncle Bud Selig is about to ruin your day, big time. He's on TV, announcing that, despite the new stadium in Minneapolis, the Twins are done playing here. You get to choose the path of their demise.
Option 1: The Pohlad family sells the club to Donald Trump and he moves them to New York City. They will play in Yankee Stadium and Trump agrees to pay rent to the Yankees, thereby further enriching the Yanks. The Donald announces that Mauer has been signed to a long term deal, meaning that the M&M Boys are going to anchor the franchise for years to come. The team remains intact, except now they are playing in Yankee Stadium, and are the lesser of the two tenants there. For the rest of time, we have to hear about how great the New York Twins are and how things are so much better for the franchise now that they playing in the AL East with the Yankees and Red Sox. (Assume Toronto moves to the AL Central.) FSN continues to carry the games here. You see M&M play together every night, but in front of adoring New Yorkers.
Option 2: The team is contracted. The players are subjected to a dispersal draft. Joe Mauer ends up playing for the White Sox. You have to listen to Joe talk about how much he enjoys playing for the Southsiders.
It's ugly. You choose. Merry Christmas.
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I gotta go contraction, no question. With all the bullcrud spewing forth from the horrible cesspools that are New York sportswriters (and, apparently, bloggers as well), I would give up on sports entirely if the New York market got an even bigger sense of entitlement.
This is when the "you choose" feature stopped being fun for me.
I'll make it less negative next week.
I think that I just have no idea which choice to select. I might have to chew on this one for a few hours.
I'm the same way. I need to ponder Joe talking about how much he loves playing for the WSox versus NY fans.
seriously, dude, i wasn't having a good day as soon as i woke up. then i have to consider these two horrifying options?!? ack. eff it. i wish i could go back to bed.
As much as I dislike NY fans, I dislike WSox and BoSox fans much more. I think I would rather keep the Team together than listen to Mauer talk about how much he loves the Sox.
It's tricky, though, because an extra team in NY benefits everyone in the league in the long run by taking some money from the Mets and Yanks, presumably beyond the rent payments that the Twins would be paying the Yankees. The dispersal draft wouldn't help in the long run.
This is true. I've long advocated for a third team in NY. The market can clearly handle it and it would keep the Mets and Yanks in line. And if it were an American League team, they would become the Yankees' biggest rival, not the Beantowners. Imagine the frenzy of 19 games in Yankee Stadium between the Yanks and their biggest rival every year? The locals would go apeshit. A win for everyone.
I wouldn't want it to be my team put in there, but a third team in NY is a must.
they'd have to change the team name. "NY Twins" sounds too much like an invitation to pr0n.
So, I guess that "Bronx Bangers" is out.
I guess I would go with the NY choice. It would piss Hank Steinbrenner off the most, even if he got some rent out of the deal, especially since with additional gate revenue it might not take the Twins long to be the best team in town.
I voted for the contraction/ChiSox option, conditional on the ChiSox going back to the softball shorts.
Are we to conclude that you have a Mauer knee fetish?
Imagine how white Morneau's knees are. He could blind pitchers and fielders! He'd probably hit about .800 wearing shorts in outdoor games!
I also voted for the White Sox option, I figure if I don't have a team I'd rather root for Mauer in Sox than any NY team.
I'd vote for the NY option provided that after a couple years the Twins eventually have to move out of Yankee Stadium and into a rebuilt Polo Grounds, so we can watch [insert toolsy CF name] run down balls 450 feet from the plate.
yeesh, and now i'm off to change the avatar. brilliant way to encourage people to do that, by the way.
Welcome aboard, and yes, it works as intended.
NEVER!!!!!!1!!
Oh, Boss, this is just cruel. I guess I'd go with the New York option, just so there would still be a Twins team out there. Then all my Minnesota Twins gear would instantly become throwback and my street cred would go up.
Wouldn't there be street cred from your Twins gear no matter the option?
Maybe, but probably not in SoHo. And that's who I'm dying to impress, New York hipsters!
Do Buffalo, New York hipsters count? Because if so, they don't like baseball-- especially the hot chick ones.
Hmm, I'll have to think up some kind of story to make it appeal to hipsters. "Oh, my Santana jersey? It was actually custom made for Juelz Santana. He gave it to me while I was laying down a track with Dipset, MGMT, and Asher Roth for the new N.A.S.A. album."
Ugh. I don't think I could do it, even for hot hipster chicks.
Will the hot chicks in Buffalo respond to my #32 Bills jersey?
+a pair of nice, leather gloves.
Not the blonde ones.
Well played.
Do Buffalo, New York hipsters count?
Just the idea of Beefalo Hipsters makes me laugh.
C'mon meat, Buffalo is the new Brooklyn.
I respectfully abstain. Like James Tiberius Kirk, I do not believe in no-win scenarios.
These are a little too sadistic for my taste, too. No vote.
Abstain here as well. Just can't pull the trigger on this one.