SBG smells smoke, but luckily, there was no fire. Twins avoid ending up with Jarrod Washburn.

My teeth are gritted and I'm strapped into my chair. Time to read a week's worth of columns from the six columnists in town and summarize them for you. I do it because I love you and believe me, it hurts me more than it hurts you.

davidwatts mentioned this in the CoC, but it deserves its own post. Per Joe C., Livan and Monroe are out, Liriano and Ruiz are in.

Floyd vs. Livan
Commence gnashing of teeth.

Livan vs. Cliff Lee
We're getting to the point where writers start talking about "must-win" series. I don't really believe in must-win situations, though, unless a team would be mathematically eliminated by losing. I've seen too many crazy things happen in my life to believe that a somewhat larger deficit is going to become [...]

Matt Harrison vs. Livan
If Livan was any other pitcher on the staff, I'd point to his 5.44 ERA, 4.62 xFIP, and .346 BABIP and I would conclude that he's been some combination of unlucky on balls in play and poor defensive support. So that's exactly what I'm going to tell you--Livan's been some combination [...]

ubelmann must have been doing some late night physics equations or something. The starters are Josh Beckett and Livan Hernandez. Looking at that matchup makes the last two losses sting just a little more.

Byrd v. Livan
Both starting pitchers today have managed to limit their walks allowed quite well, while at the same time being overall crappy pitchers. But some offensive fireworks would be rather appropriate for Independence Day, don't you think?

Sheets Parra vs. Livan
Twins record after 80 games in recent seasons:
42-38 -- 2007
45-35 -- 2006
46-34 -- 2005
43-37 -- 2004
43-37 -- 2003
45-35 -- 2002
49-31 -- 2001
35-45 -- 2000
31-49 -- 1999
38-42 -- 1998

Webb vs. Livan
Webb >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Livan

John Lannan vs. Livan Hernandez
How is this for a kick to the nuts?
20.9 VORP -- Cristian Guzman, 2008
0.3 VORP -- Twins SS, 2008
For that matter, Guzman's VORP last year (16.4) was better than Jason Bartlett's (14.7). And he's only making $400K more than Craig Monroe and his -1.1 VORP. Not to mention $800K [...]

Livan Hernandez vs. Aaron Laffey
You know, I would love for Livan to really be the exception to defense-independent pitching statistics. I would love for him to go out there and use his guile and competitive nature and his veteranness to prevent more runs than you would expect based on his strikeouts, walks, and ground [...]

Livan Hernandez vs. Mark Buehrle
Players that I'm happy with so far: Mauer, Morneau, Nathan. (Alexi Casilla gets honorable mention. Even though he's probably playing over his head, he's still young and as a low-cost player could be a real asset to the team if he plays to his abilities.)
Players that I'm not so [...]

Andy Pettite vs. Livan Hernandez
Livan has been a totally wacky pitcher so far this year. With 24 K's, 13 BB's, and 1 HBP, 89% of the hitters who have faced Livan Hernandez have put the ball in play. The major league average is for 74% of hitters to put the ball in play. [...]

Livan Hernandez (4.66 xFIP) vs. Zack Grienke (4.04 xFIP)
Dudes, we're totally getting a Delmon again. I noted last night, and will again note, that had Lew Ford made the same boneheaded mistake that Delmon made last night, I guarantee he would have been riding pine today. And Ford's career OPS+ (96 for those [...]

Vincente Padilla vs Livan Hernandez
You didn't want to pay attention to that work this afternoon, did you?

Livan Hernandez vs. Greg Reynolds
Reaching the quarter pole probably deserves some sort of recap, but I don't know that we've especially learned anything about this team so far that I haven't already beaten to death.
The offense has scored 179 runs--good for 8th in the AL--but they are 12th in OPS. They are good at [...]

Clay Buchholz vs. Livan Hernandez
Programming note: Beware the 6pm CT ESPN start time.
Buccholz has a 3.45 xFIP so far, to go with a ZiPS-projected 4.47 ERA. Lots of strikeouts (8.9 K/G), and an uspectacular/poorish walk rate (3.4 BB/G), and a decent ground balll rate (44% GB%). I certainly think he'll turn out to [...]

Livan Hernandez vs. Mark Buehrle
I don't know what it is--perhaps a sort of "playing with house money" effect--but I can't help but be amused whenever Livan is pitching these days. My reaction when he gives up a big home run isn't so much "Oh no! How will we win now?" but rather "That ball [...]

Livan Hernandez vs. Armando Galarraga
I'm not sure exactly what to make of Galarraga. On one hand, it took him forever to get out of Rookie/A-ball, but he had a pretty decent year last year between AA/AAA, and it wasn't like he was super old for that level. His overall peripherals in the minors [...]