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Move Over, Phelps

SBG August 20, 2008, at 10:30 am 15 LTEs - (Sorry, but the time to add LTEs has expired) ,

Usain Bolt has won both the 100 meters and the 200 meters, both in World Record time. Man, he took down Michael Johnson's insane 19.32, going 19.30. He beat the silver medalist by over a half second. Unbelievable!

Suuuuure it’s a “sport”!

brianS August 19, 2008, at 2:31 pm One LTE - (Sorry, but the time to add LTEs has expired) , ,

The Spanish synchronized swimming team has been panned [err, banned] from wearing their suits equipped with flashing lights in competition. Way to stand up for athletic integrity, IOC dudes. I mean sure, sequins, glitter and makeup practically shout "competitive athlete," whereas flashing lights might make people think of a striptease act or summat.

LATimes: Michael Phelps is not the greatest Olympic athlete in history

SBG August 15, 2008, at 3:02 pm 16 LTEs - (Sorry, but the time to add LTEs has expired) , ,

Carl Lewis is. You heard it here first.

The Case for Carl Lewis

SBG August 13, 2008, at 7:15 am 34 LTEs - (Sorry, but the time to add LTEs has expired) , , , ,

Last night, Michael Phelps won his 10th and 11th gold medals at the Olympics, the most all-time. We talked a little about this yesterday, but I wanted to extend the conversation and do some polling. For my money, Carl Lewis remains the greatest Olympic champion of all time and personally, I'd much rather have his collection of nine gold medals than whatever Phelps's total ends up after these games.

Why? Because Lewis won some of the most glamorous gold medals one can win. He showed the ability to win a large number of medals at one Games and sustain his brilliance over the long haul.

Prior to Lewis, two of the biggest names in Olympic Track and Field history were Jesse Owens and Al Oerter. Owens won four Olympic gold medals in Berlin in 1936: the 100, 200, 4X100, and the long jump. The cultural significance was clear -- here was a black man winning four gold medals in front of Adolf Hitler, the ultimate White Supremacist (although sadly, there were plenty of those in Owens's homeland as well). Oerter is certainly less well known, but he achieved the stunning feat of winning the discus in four consecutive Olympics (1956, '60, '64 and '68). In each of those Games, he set an Olympic record.

Lewis basically did what both of these men did. At the 1984 Olympic Games, Lewis won the same four events that Owens won, setting an Olympic record in the 200 and a world record in the 4X100. At the 1988 Olympic Games, he won the 100 in world record time (although the later disqualified Ben Johnson hit the tape first) and the long jump, grabbing silver in the 200, while his relay team was disqualified because of a bad handoff.

In 1992, Lewis again won two gold medals in the long jump and the 4X100 meters, run in world record time, a record that still stands. In 1996, Lewis qualified for the long jump for fifth time (he was unable to go to the Olympics in 1980 due to the American boycott). He shocked the world by winning the gold medal, his fourth in the long jump at the age of 35 (Oerter was 32 when he won his fourth gold). Lewis has been somewhat of an unsympathetic figure, but his stunning achievements should not be forgotten. Indeed, Sports Illustrated named him Olympic Athlete of the Century and the International Olympic Committee named him Sportsman of the Century.

What Phelps has done is great, remarkable. But, there so many more swimming events and thus, opportunities to win gold. World records fall like dominoes in the sport. I personally watched about five or six swimmers break the existing world records in swimming just last night. In fact, one relay race in these Olympics saw five teams break the existing world record. Twice last night, a world record was set in preliminaries in the same event. Track and field world records are much harder to attain.

I also reject the idea that all Olympic gold medals are created equal. Is a trapshooting gold medal or a rhythmic gymnastics gold medal as impressive as winning the Decathalon? Didn't think so. The medals that Lewis won aren't just medals, they are some of the most glamorous medals an athlete can win at the games. I don't care if Phelps wins 8 at these games. He's not, in my opinion, in the same class as the incredible Carl Lewis and that's taking nothing away from Phelps. He's great. If he's still winning gold medals when he's 35 years old, then maybe we can talk. But for now, Lewis is still the greatest Olympic champion, ever, in my book.

Be sure to weigh in with your opinion and cast your vote.

It’s Not At Antarctica Levels, But It’s Up There

SBG August 12, 2008, at 7:16 am One LTE - (Sorry, but the time to add LTEs has expired) , ,

Beijing provides 100,000 condoms for athletes.

The Sydney Olympics ran out. Athens doubled the number. So organisers of the Beijing Games are hoping 100,000 condoms will satisfy the needs of Olympic athletes.

While sex is not an Olympic sport it is expected to be an activity in the Beijing village housing 10,500 athletes, all of whom are in great shape and with plenty of free time on their hands once knocked out of the Games.

So, 10,500 athletes, divide by 2 is a little over 5,000. 100,000 condoms? That's 20 sex acts per athlete in about 2 weeks or more than one a day. Still, though, those rabbits down in Antarctica are doing it at a much higher rate.

All the Negativity That’s In This Town Sucks

SBG August 10, 2008, at 10:15 pm 10 LTEs - (Sorry, but the time to add LTEs has expired) , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Here we go with another week gazing at the vast wasteland that is sports columnizing in this town.

Grandpa Sports
What a week for the old-timer. I'm saying it now. Stop with all the negativity, Sid! I can't take it. Why can't you be positive about the hometown clubs just once????

First, he tells us that Zygi Wilf is expecting a big season from the Vikings. Now that might sound a positive, sell-some-tickets statement but let's be clear. Sid is telling us that the owner has lost patience with his club, coaches, and probably the City of Minneapolis. Storm clouds are on the horizon. When the Vikings perform their ritual heart-ripping on their most rabid fans, I'll point you to this column.

Actually, this column is a double knife in the back. Later on, Sid reveals Twins General Manager Billy Smith to be a bold-faced liar.

Twins General Manager Bill Smith realizes there is a problem with a bullpen that has an ERA of 2.11 at home and 6.19 on the road (before Wednesday's 7-3 victory at Seattle). He says he is watching the waiver wire, ready to claim anybody who can help.

The steely Sid puts the rookie on the record and makes him look bad when Chad Bradford is claimed by the Rays (and thus, not by the Twins) about a day later. Watch out when you talk to El Sid, rook. He's going to make you look like a fool.

The vise grip is slowly tightening on this Vikings squad. The diabolical Hartman takes away any excuse about dissension in the lockerroom with this cutting entry about how the Vikings players all get along. Yep, there'll be no recourse to the old "lack of chemistry" excuse when the Vikings get to the point in the season when all appears lost (which happens every season). They won't be able to say, so-and-so farts in front of my locker all day, they'll just have to admit that they aren't as good as the other team.

And, oh, the shot he takes at the Gophers later on in the column (a different page, so worth another link)! My goodness! What skill with the verbal cutlery! The Gophers almost ran a deficit in their athletic budget, but barely squeaked by. Says battleworn AD Joel Maturi:

[W]e were wondering if we were going to operate in the black, and all of a sudden, because this happens or that happens and we didn't spend here or didn't have to spend there, we're OK. We feel good about what we accomplished in '07-08.

We feel good about what we accomplished in '07-08. The football team was 1-11 and one field goal away from a winless season. The hockey team sa-hucked and had a controversial mid-season defection, which included an NHL coach questioning the quality of coaching in Minneapolis, the basketball team was the bright spot, and it was so-so. Sid knows we know all this, see, and he's got Maturi looking like a total idiot with that quote. Sid also knows that "because this happens" means that the Gophers made a lot of money off of NDSU grads who filled the dome to watch the NDSU Bison kick the shit out of the Gophers. But, Glen's in his happy place. Wow, Sid. Why'd you have to kick a man when he's down?

Even Purple Jesus isn't immune from the cutting. "This is what a column would look like," says O.J. Simpson, "If I Did It". All Adrian "All Day" Peterson did was set the world on fire last season, but that's not enough for the rhetorical killer, Sid Hartman. No sir. He has to be much, much better. It seems that Mr. Peterson is doing all he can to improve, but something tells me that it won't please the Dean of Minneapolis sportswriters.

Finally, Sid takes apart the Vikings for not getting Brett Favre into a purple uniform. The Vikings played their first preseason game and Hartman tells us that the scribes are unimpressed with Tarvaris Jackson ("many in the media still question Jackson's ability to lead the Vikings offense"). He even gets Jackson to admit that he sucks. Says Jackson, "If [Favre] would have came in, they would have brought him in for a reason and I understand that." That reason, of course, is that Jackson sucks and is going to bring this team down. Sid knows it, Jackson knows it, we all know it, and Sid has him admitting it. It's gonna get ugly.

As if that's not enough, Sid explores the dark recesses of Tim Brewster's mind. "Gophers football coach Tim Brewster sat in his office Saturday afternoon watching film of the same day's morning scrimmage, and he was all smiles as he pointed out one outstanding defensive play after another." Oh, come on, Sid, that's just hurtful.

All the negativity that's in this town sucks.

Top Jimmy
It's bad enough that Sid's out there cutting everyone off at the knees, but what really sucks is that the RSS feed from Top Jimmy and Reusse isn't working, meaning that I'm really going to have to work to finish this rant. Of course, they don't have RSS feeds over at the PiP. Cost cutting measure, apparently.

Souhan is in China following the Olympics. He writes about a Minnesotan who coaches the U.S. Table Tennis team, which includes a bunch of Chinese players. Nothing gets your nationalistic spirit up like a bunch of immigrants playing a sport that we don't care about.

This just in! Beijing is polluted, the Chinese eat foods that seem weird to us, and the government is oppressive! No signs of any poultry references (other than the name of the Olympic stadium, The Bird's Nest), but bad jokes abound. "And if China was serious about its medal count, it would have found a way to make spitting an Olympic sport. These people are good. For them, expectorating is a performance art." Or how about this one: "Everywhere there are grim-looking soldiers, thin as Corey Brewer, only better shooters." Good grief. I know Souhan is better than this. I read him for years before he was a columnist and he's pretty good on television. But, his radio show and columns like this are just terrible.

The week ended with a devastating tragedy for a Minnesota family. A random act of violence ends the life of a Minnesota man and leaves his wife fighting for her life. Souhan writes a great piece detailing the crushed spirit of the Olympic volleyball team, playing on after the news that a member of the family was murdered.

Patrick Reusse
On Monday, Reusse wrote about Francisco Liriano's first start since April and suggests that the path to a Central Division title is a lot easier this year now that Liriano is back, especially as compared to the path that they took in 2006. No veteran leadership, which seemed so important last week. Just capable arms. What will we do?

While Top Jimmy vacillates between the sublime and the ridiculous in Beijing, Reusse's off to Oakland, MI to watch the PGA golf tournament. Reusse writes a whole bunch of golf columns, (seriously, several golf columns) but guess what? Golf without Tiger Woods is boring.

Shooter
Baseless speculation gets the week off. Shooter's gone fishin'.

Tom Powers
Tom says Tavaris Jackson was pretty good in the first preseason game. Tom takes in the UFC at Target Center this weekend and is a little less than impressed. Actually, I think he's more like appalled. But, there's a key piece of information in there: the Chinese probably won't like it. There's no spitting allowed.

Bob Sansevere
Man, Sansevere was working hard this week. Ten columns! Ten! Man, he must have been working late at night to generate all of those items! Let's take a look. Oh, well. Maybe not. Bob talks to a few guys and gets a quote or two. For instance, Ryan Longwell answers one question. Robert Ferguson answers one question. Chad Greenway answers three questions. Cullen Loeffler answers two questions. Tavaris Jackson answers one question. He also talks to Adam Weber, Gophers quarterback, with plenty of that huckster Tim Brewster thrown in. The article reads like Weber talking and Brewster interrupting. Weber says he wants to be known as a guy that took his team from 1-11 to 11-1 or an undefeated season. Well, he's got the first part down. Antoine Winfield gives Bob a handful of cliches. Darren Sharper answers a bunch of questions about Brett Favre. Bob also tells us that the Favre controversy was good for the Vikings. That was written before the Favre trade. After the Favre trade, Bob tells us that if Tavaris Jackson is good, that would be good for the Vikings.

British Sea Power “Waving Flags”

E-6 August 10, 2008, at 12:01 am Sorry, but the time to add LTEs has expired ,

Olympic Fever? You should really have that looked at...
Later with Jools Holland, 2008.

In Which SBG Suffers Greatly

SBG August 3, 2008, at 8:03 pm 17 LTEs - (Sorry, but the time to add LTEs has expired) , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

My teeth are gritted and I'm strapped into my chair. Time to read a week's worth of columns from the six columnists in town and summarize them for you. I do it because I love you and believe me, it hurts me more than it hurts you.

Grandpa Sports
• On the day of the trading deadline, Sid provides cover for the Twins not making a move, quoting Joe Nathan:

We don't feel like we need help. Everyone is talking about how they've got to make a move, they're going to make a move -- but we're sitting here [1 1/2 games out in the AL Central] right now with the guys we've got. So no one sees the flip side, when you make a move somebody is going to not be able to play.

Of course, that's a company line. The Twins had just lost Alexi Casilla for what looked like the season and they have been scraping it together in the bullpen with Pat Neshek out and Juan Rincon pitching so bad that they released him. Perhaps Joe Nathan likes seeing Brian Bass out there coughing up games. The Twins, at the right price, of course, could easily have been made better. But, Joe's not gonna rock the boat. Says Sid, in his normal quid pro quo, "Well-spoken words by the best closer in the game." Of course, the Twins pretty much immediately dumped Craig Monroe and replaced him with a 30 year old rookie after the deadline, putting the lie to what Nathan was saying

• On Friday, Sid tells us that scouts are really impressed with Justin Morneau. Yep, Justin's pretty good. How good? According to Sid:

Visit with scouts from other teams who watch the Twins, and many believe Justin Morneau has the potential to be one of the great players to ever play in the major leagues.

Jeebus, not even Justin's mother believes that.

• On Saturday, Sid sings the praises of Nick Punto. Yep, Punto is far from the suckitude that he was last year. And yes, he's versatile and does a pretty good job in the field. Sid: "And Punto is having that great year with the bat." For the season, Punto is hitting .285/.335/.396 for an OPS+ of 99. Compared to last year, that's great, but compared to the league as a whole, he's slightly below average. But, hey, compared to that Justin's-got-the-potential-to-be-one-of-the-greatest-ever, this is Punto is great is practically an understatement.

Sid's an amazing guy. He's still plugging out sports columns three or four times a week at the age of 89. That's saying something. But, for goodness sake, the quality of these columns is not much better than the semi-illiterate ramblings of the tortured souls that provide the Strib comments. No self-respecting blogger writes crap like this. Is anyone in charge over at the Strib?

Pat Reusse

• Timing, as they say, is everything. Kevin Slowey pitched a shutout on Monday against the Chicago White Sox and Reusse wrote a column on Tuesday about how Veteran LeaderTM Livan Hernandez gave Slowey some inspiration.

Last time he faced Chicago, Slowey was sitting glumly in front of his cubicle.

Livan Hernandez, the Twins' lone veteran starter, walked over and said: "You know, there are going to be more of these.''

Message: Get over it.

"If you ask me, this little run of good pitching started with what Livan did on Friday night in Cleveland,'' Slowey said. "He got knocked around in the first inning, but when he came in the dugout, you couldn't tell if he had given up four runs or none.

"And then he went back out and threw eight innings. It wasn't a win, but when you watched him react like that ... it was a great lesson for the young starters on this team.''

You know, I get plenty tired of drivel like this. The kid threw a shutout and somehow credit is flung towards the craptastic veteran. Is Slowey so Berting fragile that he's going to fall apart without someone like Livan around? Apparently, the Twins didn't think so -- Hernandez got handed his walking papers this week. They didn't even bother putting him in the bullpen. Apparently, Brian Bass is more valuable in their eyes. Maybe Bass gives a hell of a pep talk.

• What a difference two days makes. On Tuesday, we hear about what a great presence Hernandez is, but on Wednesday, he goes out and stinks it up, handing the White Sox their only win in the four game series. Now, all that veteran leadership is worth a pile of beans.

The distressing part of this clunker from Hernandez was that it came in the Dome, where he had been effective enough to make up for complete futility on the road.

Carlos Quentin whacked him for a home run in the first, another run scored in the third, and then Quentin emptied the bases with a double in the fourth.

Add it up, and Livan went four innings, gave up five runs and 12 baserunners. He has yielded an astounding 199 hits in 139 2/3 innings.

Ten victories in four months made Livan worth the one-year contract, but his looping fastball and soaring curve clearly are fooling fewer and fewer hitters.

The Twins would have to be as stubborn as Tim Pawlenty calling a tax a fee if they were to continue to refuse to supplant Hernandez in the rotation with Francisco Liriano.

It's not ideal to have a rotation with five mostly inexperienced starters, but Livan can't lead the young-uns other than to mediocrity with pitching like this.

Yep, those ten victories were really worth it. Reusse apparently doesn't understand the concept of run support. But, on Thursday, he understands that Livan Hernandez can't pitch effectively at the major league level. I guess the "young-uns" will have to rely on, I don't know, the fucking coaching staff for guidance.

• On Saturday, Reusse looks at the Favre situation. He thinks that Favre would do basically nothing for the Vikings. I don't care about the Vikings and Favre is not the Favre of old, but I do think the Vikings would be better with Brett at the helm.

• On Sunday, Reusse profiled Tom Lehman, who almost won the 1996 U.S. Open, which was played at Oakland Hills, MI, the site of this week's PGA.

Top Jimmy
• On Wednesday, Top Jimmy writes about an exciting, come from behind win against the White Sox. That was a pretty fun win and it drew the Twins to within one-half game. This is a pretty innocuous column, but it does include this puzzler:

Denard Span, the only Twin who can compare to Joe Mauer in quality of at-bats, draws a walk.

It seems to me that Justin Morneau has had some quality at bats, too.

• On Friday, Top Jimmy writes the kind of column that makes me want to wring his pencil neck. He suggests that the Twins should have traded Liriano for Adrian Beltre. I happen to disagree with this idea, and the WGOM Poll earlier this week had no takers for Liriano for Beltre. But, here's the thing. I conducted that poll before the deadline. Top Jimmy wrote his column after the deadline. This kind of column needs to be written before the deadline, or not at all. Leading up to the deadline, Top Jimmy made absolutely no indication that he had any opinion about what the Twins should do. Then, after the deadline, he writes that the Twins should trade the F-Bomb, and he references a two year old DUI as support for his ridiculous idea. Souhan, you are a hack.

• On Saturday, Top Jimmy writes about the Olympic Basketball Team. I don't give a frog's fat ass about Olympic Basketball.

Shooter
• Charley quotes Rich Gannon, who talks about Brett Favre. The whole column is one long quote. Gannon thinks the Vikings would be better off with Tavaris Jackson for a the first half of the season because Favre needs to learn the offense, but then he says, "And in his heart of hearts he knows he's still probably one of the top five quarterbacks in the league. So why wouldn't you come back?" I'm thinking that T-Jack is NOT one of the top five QBs in the league. But, the Vikes are better off with him, anyway. For a while at least.

• Charley tells us that Jerry Bell went to New York to see the two new ballparks being built. Of course, ours is better.

Bell said the Twins' ballpark will have features better than those of Yankee Stadium.

"Our architecture is more unique, more fitting of Minnesota," he said. "The Mets' stadium is more brick and steel, East Coast, which is fine. I don't think that would be right for us, though. We're putting stone on ours now. I like it a lot. It's gorgeous, just gorgeous."

• Charley tells us that the guy who used to be Ken Griffey, Jr. loves to hit against the Twins. I don't know if he knows it, but Griffey's been in the National League for about eight years, where he got old. He does have this little tidbit: "White Sox broadcaster Ken "Hawk" Harrelson said the two "prettiest" baseball swings he has seen in 45 years of organized baseball belong to Griffey and the Twins' Joe Mauer." One wonders if Sid's scouts were talking about Mauer instead of Morneau when they were talking about a potential all-time great.

Tom Powers
I think he's lost at sea. No new columns for almost two weeks.

Bob Sansevere
Jeebus, was it vacation week at the PiP? Sansevere with one offering, an interview with Gary Zimmerman. Zimmerman speaks the truth:

Being elected to the Hall of Fame was actually a surprise. It really shocked me. I figured (former Vikings teammate and guard) Randall (McDaniel) would go because I didn't think they'd take two linemen at the same time. I thought that'd be awesome if we went the same time. It's hard for me to look at myself and say that I had a great career. It's easy for me to say that about Randall. He was the most amazing athlete I saw on the line. I thought for sure he'd be a first-time ballot guy. Maybe it's because he doesn't have a Super Bowl ring. He's got everything but a Super Bowl.

God, what a week. I've been beaten into submission.

Was ist das?

brianS July 4, 2008, at 1:34 am 5 LTEs - (Sorry, but the time to add LTEs has expired) ,

Funny. Nobody gives a hoot about the WNBA, but some people were calling Becky Hammon a "traitor" recently because she will play for the Rooskies (after getting snubbed by USA). On the other hand, lots of people seem to care about the NBA -- but is anyone lambasting Chris Kaman for turning Kraut? (more power too him, I say)

Olympic!

brianS June 15, 2008, at 11:21 am Sorry, but the time to add LTEs has expired

Anoka teen makes US greco-roman Olympic squad.

The Doping Thing Has Gone Way too Far

SBG June 2, 2008, at 10:39 pm Sorry, but the time to add LTEs has expired , ,

'Shocked' Johnson says he'll return Olympic relay medal. Nobody was clean, friends. This eight years after the fact result changing doesn't do anybody any good.