The WGOM

CFLer pretends to be dead as a 'tribute' to Michael Jackson after scoring touchdown.

Following a TD pass from Kerry Joseph that put Toronto ahead 6-0, [Arland] Bruce removed his helmet, shoulder pads and uniform top and laid down in the end zone.

...

"I made the mistake of telling him in camp that once he got to the end zone, I didn't care what he did," coach Bart Andrus said.

One is for fighting, one is for fun. Don't mix them up. A woman who was shot while having sex with her estranged husband has told investigators that it was an accident.

But upon further review, not so much.

While the Iowa Hawkeyes were scoring at will on the field Saturday night, two fans from the Hawkeye State were scoring elsewhere in the Metrodome.

Police say a man and woman were "having relations" in a bathroom stall as a crowd cheered them on.

Ross M. Walsh, 26, of Linden, Iowa, and Lois K. Feldman, 38, of Carroll, Iowa, were cited for misdemeanor indecent conduct. Walsh was released to his girlfriend and Feldman to her husband, police said.

Lois and Ross, you got some 'splainin' to do.

Woman loses $400,000 in Nigerian e-mail scam. Persists in sending money even after family members and bank begs her to stop. Still says she's not an easy mark. Can we get a friendly WGOM poker game going with her as our honored guest?

St. Olaf prof resigns after election sign fiasco on Northfield News.

More properly, a "one-semester, temporary visiting professor," i.e., a "will teach for food" professor.

St. Olaf College visiting professor Phil Busse will be charged with misdemeanor theft after confessing to the Rice County Sheriff’s department that he took three McCain/Palin yard signs, said Sergeant Dave Stensrud of the Rice County Sheriff’s Office.

According to Stensrud, officers met with Busse at his residence last Friday after several community members complained about Busse’s essay on the Huffington Post, a national news Web site and blog. There, Stensrud said, Busse confessed that he was involved with the theft of three political yard signs. In his article, titled “Confessions of a Lawn Sign Stealer,” Busse admits to taking up to eight McCain/Palin signs from a stretch of Highway 19 near St. Olaf College.

For his actions, Busse could face up to 90 days in jail and/or a $1,000 fine, Stensrud said.

This article slays me. Apparently, football coaches who embellish their resumes are just the tip of the iceberg. John Crewdson of the Chicago Tribune ... uncovers that many of the entries in Who’s Who falsely claim to have earned high military honors.

Dudes. Didn't you learn anything in school? If you are going to lie, make it a whopper and make it something that is difficult to verify.

It's back to school for Blaine senior after suspension over box cutter

In suspending Richard, administrators invoked the school's zero-tolerance weapons policy and recommended to the school board that he be expelled.

However, late Monday the six-member board voted 5-1 that despite the policy, Richard can return to school, but will be on probation until Nov. 10, the end of the first quarter at school.

Any infractions during that time could result in his expulsion, school officials said, adding that technically, the punishment will be considered an expulsion for the purposes of record-keeping.

This kid had a job at Cub Foods where he used a box cutter to cut up cardboard boxes. He had the box cutter in his car, but never brought it into the school. Now, when he applies for colleges, he has to explain why he was expelled from school. This is just stupid.

This is absolutely ridiculous. Apparently threatened by the influx of Asian players, the LPGA Tour will reportedly suspend memberships if players don't learn English. That's just assinine. Women's leagues provided opportunities for women athletes and now this stupid-assed group wants to limit access to people who don't speak English? Only one tag at the WGOM fits this story.

You might have remembered hearing about this story when it happened. Turns out the father had been drinking, smoking marijuana, trespassing, and hunting without a license. What an ass.

Wheelie-popping motorcyclist tops 150 mph, pauses to use cell phone.